1. Pay AttentionWhen your children are talking with you, listen.
- Don't just nod your head while you're watching television or reading the paper, or using your computer.
- Don't just pretend to listen to them.
- Kids know the difference.
2. Give Respect
Acknowledge and support your children's struggle to grow to maturity.
3. Understand
Try to sympathize with what your kids are going through.
- Look at life - at least occasionally - from their point of view.
- Remember that when you were their age, your ideas seemed to make sense to you.
4. Don't Lecture
All children hate to be lectured to, especially teenagers.
- But all kids respond to clear information and direction, most of all when they know that the questions they ask will be answered.
5. Don't Label
The throwing around of useless labels will only confuse the real issues that you wish to address.
6. Discuss Feelings
Talk about what you, as a parent, feel and what you need.
- Allow your child to talk about his or her feelings too.
7. Create Responsibility
Give your children choices, not orders.
- Help them to understand the consequences of their actions.
8. Positive Praise
Describe your child's positive and negative behaviour, and how it affects others.
- Be specific, and give praise to reward good behaviour.
- Do this at least as often, if not more so, than you criticize behaviour which you don't like.
9. Stop Hassling
Asking your child too many questions often shuts off information.
- Give them the opportunity to volunteer their thoughts and feelings, while you show a sincere interest, without probing.
10. Don't Always Give The Answers
You want your children to be able to find their own answers or solutions to problems.
- You can help this by not giving them the answers all the time.
11. Use Team Work
Work together with your child to lay out the problems and find a mutually agreeable solution.
12. The Key Issue
You MUST tell each of your children that you will always love that child, NO MATTER WHAT.